Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
