Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
