All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
