i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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