This girl is more easily done than said...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
