8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
