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You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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