I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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