okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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