All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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