The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
