rhymes with "ouble enetration"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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