If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
