I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
