so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
