Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
