I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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