my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
