I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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