Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
PANTIES FOUND
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