as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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