If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
