i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
