we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
