I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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