We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
