If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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