Define "chronic" masturbator.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
