I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
