someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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