drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
