I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
