so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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