"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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