The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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