I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize