please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
