youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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