I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
