also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
