Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
