maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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