dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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