seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
