just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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