I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
