What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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