i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
