I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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