Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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