maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
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i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
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I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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