this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
