Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
