FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
