How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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