Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
