Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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