1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
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