I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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