Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize