I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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