they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
