He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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