Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
