Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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