VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
