I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
