I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
