So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
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He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
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Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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